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Divorce and Suicide

16 May

Today I learned one of my former family law clients killed himself. He had a 3 year old son. The reason I thought I would share this is because I have had a lot of “high-conflict” clients

The End

Not The Preferred Way To End A Case.

over the years, clients who I have had serious concerns for their mental health. Angry clients, clients who were aggressive, who hated their ex-spouse and told me about it on a daily basis. This client was not one of those. His case was fairly standard, a few periods of conflict, notably during temporary relief motions, some nasty letters and then we finally settled the case about 16 months after it started. A very forgettable case a divorce lawyer’s perspective.

I’ve had clients kill themselves before, I think most criminal and family lawyers have had it happen, but not a client who appeared so level headed and normal. This made me do a little research (that is what lawyers are supposed to be good at after all!) and I found some pretty surprising and shocking statistics:

  • The National Institute for Healthcare Research in Rockville, MD found that divorced people are three
    times as likely to commit suicide.
  • Divorce ranks as the number one factor linked with suicide rates in major U.S. cities, ranking above all other physical, financial, and psychological factors.
  • The Word Health Organization found that divorce was the only consistent factor in factors for suicide in 13 European countries.
  • Divorced men are 4X more likely to commit suicide than divorced women according to a University of Colorado study.

Those are pretty sobering facts and facts that I suspect most divorce lawyers in Minnesota don’t know about them. One of the problems from the legal practitioners’ perspective is that we don’t really get to know our clients. This is done for a variety of reason, to remain objective, to not get enmeshed, to keep costs down, etc. so we only see our clients for brief snapshots, at court, our office, telephone calls but I suspect it’s pretty easy to hide this level of depression when you meet someone only a few times and talk to them briefly.

The other problem we have is that we, as lawyers, are woefully ill prepared to do any sort of mental health analysis let alone counseling. While we are “counselors at law” there are no classes that we take in law school to identify mental stress or mental illness in a client, the best we can do is read our journal articles, maybe remember a few notes from Psych 101 from our undergrad days and hope for the best.

If you are going through a divorce or if you are family or friends of someone going through a divorce, don’t underestimate the stress of a marriage being dissolved. The day in and day out stress wears even the strongest person down and if you see them having troubles urge them to get help. I know I’ll spend additional time asking how my clients are doing and give them the name of a few good counselors to talk to.

Thank you for reading. Chris R. I hope you found the peace you apparently couldn’t find on earth.

P.S. Need help for suicide prevention? http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Jason Kohlmeyer
Rosengren Kohlmeyer
Law Office Chtd.
Mankato, Minnesota

507-625-5000

 
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Posted by on May 16, 2012 in Alcohol & Drug Issues in Divorce, Current Divorce Events

 

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Forensic Accountants: A Necessity during Divorce?

15 May

 Forensic Accountants: A Necessity during Divorce?

 Though reasons for divorcing may vary, there are several common recurrent topics amid most divorces. Aside from the

Digging for Money!

Do Forensic Accountants Wear Hard Hats? Just Maybe…

stress and money involved, there is often the feeling that one person is getting a better deal than the other. Often this feeling stems from financial inequality in the marriage where one person may have earned significantly more than the other. While one partner may have earned less income, s/he may also feel that personal contributions added up significantly during the length of the marriage and that s/he is due some form of compensation for working in alternative ways. Such roles often cited include raising children, handling business logistics, managing a house hold, or even caring for a spouse’s elderly parents. When a divorce is eminent, one or both spouses may start to “squirrel” away assets in hard to find places and in hidden investments. In other situations, one partner may decide years in advance that the marriage is over and may begin to clandestinely store assets as part of a long term financial survival plan. In either case, the assistance of a forensic accountant can be a powerful team ally during divorce proceedings.

Skills a Forensic Accountant brings to the Table:

While a divorce attorney may have a strong reputation for tenacious negotiations, amicable custody agreements, or uncovering a paper trail of deception, a forensic accountant possesses a unique skill set related to financial asset management. Not only can a seasoned forensic accountant uncover hidden assets, s/he will be sure to document the findings in a way that is admissible in court. While many attorneys are skilled at uncovering wrong doing, the forensic accountant is trained in specific strategies for uncovering a wide range of asset management inconsistencies and documenting them in the appropriate way for use in a variety of legal settings.

A divorce attorney may know something just isn’t “adding up,” but the forensic accountant will be able to use a precise skill set to uncover, analyze, and document the findings in the way needed to make the case stronger and the outcomes possibly more favorable for the client. In addition, forensic accountants fully understand the process of analyzing and identifying important connections between pieces of financial evidence. Seemingly unrelated tidbits of evidence overlooked by the untrained eye may lead to additional facts that a forensic accountant can connect seamlessly. When all the pieces of the puzzle are put together, the legal team may just have an unshakeable documentation of deception to be used as a powerful tool in the subsequent divorce proceedings.

Forensic Accountants Can Make the Legal Team Stronger:

 Most divorces are settled out of court through a series of often lengthy negotiations. The findings of a forensic accountant can help bring about a more comprehensive understanding of total assets that can be used as an important leveraging tool in legal negotiations. Forensic accountants are skilled at seeing the bigger picture between individual pieces of evidence and may be able to make connections and conclusions about the assets and other factors in the case that would otherwise remain elusive if the attorney handled the case alone.

Trained professionals working in the niche of forensic accounting provide a potentially profitable cache of information, findings, and evidence that may bring about a better settlement for the client. While it is generally an additional cost to retain the services of a forensic accountant or CPA, the investment not only may provide additional settlement winnings, but also offers other benefits as forensic accountants are often times CPA’s as a result of passing the uniform CPA Exam.

Retaining the services of a forensic accountant can provide a higher degree of confidence that the financial aspects of the divorce will be handled skillfully, thoroughly, and with a high degree of integrity. This is especially important when larger assets are at stake and when the well-being of dependents require additional careful consideration.

Tough choices for better outcomes:

 Divorce is a stressful process with many tough choices along the way. While many clients report the feeling of just wanting the divorce to be over, the settlement will have long-reaching effects on all parties so it is important to be sure the process is handled as powerfully and effectively as possible. When there are significant assets to be considered and one spouse may not be privy to the financial details necessary to ensure a fair settlement, a forensic accountant may be a strong addition to the legal team. While many attorneys share similar analytical skills with forensic accountants, the forensic accountant has the specific skills and training to investigate, document, analyze, and report asset-related findings in a way that the attorneys can use to strengthen the case for the client. While divorce is never easy, making the choice to bring a forensic accountant onto the legal team may improve a client’s chances of walking away from the divorce proceedings with a more favorable settlement and an added degree of certainty that the team did everything possible to secure the best possible outcome.

By Grant Webb. Grant writes and reports on accounting and accounting law. As a result of his accurate reporting and thorough research, he has provided useful content for those who need accurate information pertaining to hiring the right CPA or Certified Forensic Accountant

COMMENT BY ROKOLAW: Mr. Webb is a guest writer and while I get approached by a number of requests for guest blogs, Mr. Webb really stood out with his writing and comments regarding how accountants can help you, the client, and me, the divorce lawyer, Thanks Grant!

 
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Posted by on May 15, 2012 in Business Owners And Divorce, Divorce and Bankruptcy, Divorce Mistakes, Farm Divorce, Finances and Divorce

 

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MN Best Interest Factor (#3 Child’s Primary Caretaker)

02 May

I’ve given some time in the past to what exactly are Minn. Stat 518.17 Best Interest factors and I’ve discussed the 13 different factors, but in order to avoid writing a book, I really gave only a quick look at each factor due to space

primary caretaker MN Custody cases

What Is A Caretaker?

consideration.  Now, I’m going to spend a little time on each of the 13 Best Interest factors.

Remember of the 13 factors, there is not one “magic factor” that is dispositive of custody.  In fact, the statute specifically states that one may not be used and all the rest ignored.  So to paraphrase Orwell “All factors are equal, but some factors are more equal than others.”

Looking at what many attorneys (and Judges) view as the (unofficial) most important factor is who is the child’s primary caretaker.  The first thing you may be thinking is “what is a primary caretaker?” Well, the statute doesn’t actually tell us what it is.  We do have over 30 years of case-law that helps us figure out what it is, some of the factors the court will look are who did the following:

  • Prepare and Plan Meals
  • Bathe, Groom & Dress The Child
  • Purchase and Care of Clothes
  • Setting Up Medical Care
  • Arranging Play Dates
  • Putting the Child To Bed At Night
  • Disciplining The Child
  • Education
  • Teaching Elementary Skills

While this is a nice start, the list really can be broadened into any sort of care taking duties.  This is why your lawyer should ask about these questions and you should be prepared to answer these questions.

Some tips that you might find useful are to get the medical records of your child’s well-baby visits as they will show who was actually present at the checkup.  If you are the one who always purchases the child’s clothes, start getting dates when you did this through receipts.  Another tip: start logging who puts the child to bed at night, who reads stories, and who makes meals?  If you start writing down the details now, it will make it much easier if you need this information when you go to court.

What about if you haven’t filed for divorce, but are considering it? Well, it’s never too early to start planning for the custody battle.  If you traditionally don’t put the kids to bed, start doing it.  You need to start taking a more active role in the caretaking of the kids or else this factor (and it’s a big one!) will be used against you.

Ok, what if you truly do one-half of the caretaking and you can prove it? Well, in some recent cases the court has looked at who can continue to provide those needs in the future and the future changes that will be occurring with the child (and the parent).  Examples might if the parent is going to be laid off or changing between daycare and elementary school and the associated changes in the schedule.

There you go, a look at Factor #3 under Minn. Stat. 518.17 Subd. 1(a)(3) The Child’s Primary Caretaker.  I’ll be looking the other 12+ factors over the next few weeks. (Hint: Next week is #4 Interaction of the child with a parent, sibling or other person!)

If you have any questions or comments, feel free to email me at Jkohlmeyer@rokolaw.com or go to www.Rokolaw.com for our main site.

Jason Kohlmeyer
Mankato, Minnesota 56001

As always, this was not legal advice, just commentary on the law.  For legal advice you need to sign a retainer with a lawyer and pay them.

 
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Posted by on May 2, 2012 in Basic Divorce Questions, Child Custody

 

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5 Things To Do When Meeting Your Divorce Lawyer For The First Time

30 Apr

So you’ve had enough! You’ve tried marital counseling, perhaps even a trial separation and you feel you have to make the call to a Minnesota Divorce Attorney.  What can you expect? What should do to prepare for it? Well as

What to do when meeting lawyer

5 Tips When Meeting Your Divorce Lawyer

always, I’m here to help! Here are my top 5 things to do when meeting with your divorce lawyer for the first time:

Leave The Kids At Home!Please, take my suggestion on this one, leave the kids at home.  First it’s

distracting to you and your lawyer to have little Jimmy running around the office.  If you don’t have day care options then get a sitter! You’re about to hire a lawyer who costs hundreds of dollars an hour, don’t be foolish and spend half the time trying to keep the kids calm in the office to save ten bucks!  Also, personally, it’s unsettling when we are talking about the children’s father and you’re about totalk about the affair, the alcohol or cocaine use or spousal abuse.  A divorce lawyer’s office is no place for kids, leave them at homeHave A List Of Questions Ready

If you are seriously considering divorce you will have questions. Perhaps how much child support can I expect?  How do we divide the house and our stuff? Am I entitled to her 401k? Can I move out-of-state with the kids? What about alimony?  Whatever your particular questions may be, think about them and write them down.  It’s a sign of an organized client and it will make your lawyer’s job easier

Don’t Waste Your Time (or Mine)

I know this may sound rather blunt, but if you really aren’t serious about hiring a lawyer and just want to get your free initial consultation you really aren’t doing anyone any favors.  You can’t learn enough in 30 minutes during your free consultation to make you an overnight divorce lawyer, don’t try!  It’s ok to interview several lawyers and pick the one that fits you best; however, going from lawyer to lawyer to try to cobble together how to be your own divorce lawyer is a recipe for disaster.

Don’t Be Afraid To Bring A Friend Or Family Member

If you would like some support feel free to bring a family member to sit and listen with you.  Often times we divorce lawyers talk fast and are using phrases you don’t normally hear.  An extra set of ears can often be a good thing.

Don’t Wait Until The Last Minute

If you get served with divorce papers in Minnesota you have 30 days to put in an answer.  An answer is a legal document that can be many pages long.  Do not think that if you don’t reply or just don’t sign anything the case will go away.  It won’t, what will happen is it will take your lawyer last-minute scrambling to get the document submitted properly so you are not in default!  Just as in most things, last-minute, rush orders, cost extra.  You can expect to pay a premium if you waited until 24 hours before you are in default and your lawyer has to stay late in the office to get it accomplished.

There you go, a short list of 5 things you should do when meeting your divorce lawyer for the first time.  The list isn’t exhaustive but it hopefully will help you get just a little more organized when going to see your divorce lawyer.

Any comments or questions feel free to email me at Jkohlmeyer@rokolaw.com or post a comment below.

Jason Kohlmeyer
Mankato, Minnesota

As always, this isn’t legal advice, just my commentary on the law.  For legal advice you have to sign a retainer and pay a fee.

 
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Posted by on April 30, 2012 in Basic Divorce Questions, Divorce Mistakes, Pre-Divorce Issues

 

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Appeals in Minnesota Divorce Cases

29 Apr

Sometimes the Judges get it wrong.  Perhaps it’s a mistake based on the law or they got confused on some complex factual issue, either way you do have some options available.

MN Court Of Appeals

The MN Court of Appeals

Standard of Review

Depending on the issue there are different “standards of review” this is the legal phrase that is what the court must look at to see if they will or can overturn the district court order.  If your claim is that the Judge didn’t believe you, or that the other side lied, then  the MN court of appeals must use the “abuse of discretion” standard.  This is tough to win because the Court of Appeals give great deference to the district court.  The theory is that the District Judge looked at the witness, saw how they acted and reacted during cross-examination and the Court Of Appeals does not have that ability.

One important point to remember here is that the Court Of Appeals doesn’t listen to any new evidence, instead they read the transcript and look at the exhibits.  Filing an appeal does not automatically mean that you get a new trial, just that the Court Of Appeals will look at the case for mistakes.

Another standard of review is called a ”de novo” standard.  This review means the Court of Appeals will look at the case “a new” or from a fresh perspective.  This is normally done if the district court applied the law wrong, such as applying the wrong legal standard on a modification of a custody case. Or getting the law wrong on a Alimony case.
What the de novo standard means to you is that you are much more likely to have your case overturned if you can manage to use a de novo standard.
Cost Of Appeals
Probably the biggest impediment to appealing a case in Minnesota is the cost.  Appeals are very complex and technical.  This is an area of the law that ANY mistake can result in getting the case thrown out and not heard by the Minnesota Court Of Appeals.  There are page requirements, font size, appendix issues, very , very strict timelines that must be followed.
As for the actual cost here is quick look at a typical divorce appeal:
  • $500  Filing Fee
  • $350  Binding Costs
  • $500-$4000+ transcript costs (typically $1,000/day)
  • 20-60 hours of legal work
There is a new program started by the Minnesota Court of Appeals that is specially designed for resolving appellate level family law issues. This is one way to potentially resolve appeal issues without prohibitive expense (it can save quite a bit by not having to write the actual brief).
One little bit of appeals trivia: the loser on the appeal has to pay “costs” which is the filing fee, transcript cost, & binding fees.(but not attorney fees)
Timelines
If you do want to appeal, or explore the possibility of an appeal, it is critically important to act quickly, as the deadline for most appeals is 60 days from entry of the divorce decree.

As you can see filing an appeal is an expensive and technically challenging proposition, one that you need to give very great thought about before you do.

Any comments or questions feel free to email or comment below.
Jason Kohlmeyer
Mankato, Minnesota
507-625-5000

As always, this is commentary, not legal advice.  For legal advice you need to sign a retainer and pay a fee.

 
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Posted by on April 29, 2012 in Appeals

 

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